31 May 2012

In the Merry Month of May

Did ya'll know May had it's own theme song?

It really is true. You learn something new every day.

I'm a little sad to see May end.

I spent a lot of time in my own head this month, which generally doesn't turn out so well. But, this time it actually worked out pretty well! I spent much of my time focusing on what I want out of this crazy little life of mine but more importantly this past month was about taking steps to make some things happen.

The biggest thing to happen is May is that I have started running. I'll get into it more on Saturday, but I never expected after such a short about of time that running would be such an important part of my day. It's a time that I can be free with my thoughts and work through some things. It's been a great form of meditation.

I also dove head first into preparing for the PHR certification exam. I have a date circled on the calendar, and even though I can't officially register for the exam until July, December 3rd is going to be the big day. I realize that it is 7 months away but I am absolutely terrified. I know though that if I keep plugging away at it, I'll be read for the exam when the time comes.

The bucket list has seen a few revisions. I know it will always been a work in progress but sometimes starting from scratch is a good way to approach things, even if some of the things you took off the list end up right back on it.

My garden is looking fabulous! The roses are starting to bloom and Sadie is having a brilliant time protecting them.

Sadly, May wasn't all smiles and awesome life revelations. I've carried with me all month the huge burden of doubt about one thing in particular. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever been able to shake the feeling of "not being good enough" or if it will always be there. One of my greatest challenges is not put so much of myself out there that I'm questioning whether or not I've made the best decision. Case in point: Captain Random. I know, the whole code name thing is weird and I'm fairly certain I've a terrible job at keeping his identity secret (in real life) but it's important to protect the innocent. It's completely selfish and quite narcissistic, but it's tough to not think sometimes that things don't go quite as you had hoped without thinking it is sometimes to do with you or what you did or what you said or whatever. I know everyone goes through moments like these and that this will surely pass in time.

In the meantime, I am looking forward to June. I have a week of vacation from work towards the end of the month which I am very excited about. A little stacation to hang out around the house, get some projects done and just generally relax.


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