29 June 2011

Let the healing begin!

Alright. I'm not going to lie. I totally underestimated how much time I was/am going to need to bounce back from yesterdays surgery. On paper, it all seemed very simple and the discussion of being able to walk on my foot/ankle after the procedure made me a little too optimistic.

But I'm trying to keep that optimism going in hopes that it does help with my recovery.

With the help of my parents (I seriously couldn't do any of this without them), I've been camped out on their couch watching bad daytime tv, catching up on my Netflix queue and indulging in my favorite foods. The one thing I am not doing but wish I was, was sleeping. I swear I must be the only one suffering from insomnia who has been under anesthesia and on some pretty hefty pain killers. Oh well.

My follow-up with my doctor is on Friday where I'll hopefully have my splint and "cast" removed and find out if/when I'll be walking again.

27 June 2011

Slicey Slicey

Today is the day I have been dreading for weeks.

It is surgery day.

The mere thought of it is enough to send me into a mild panic attack but I know I'll be fine. I totally trust my doctor and know that this is, unfortunately, the best course of treatment for what I affectionately like to refer to as my fankle (a.k.a. my foot & ankle). I'm looking forward to actually going out for walks and starting my quest again to be a runner sans the annoying and frustrating sensation of walking across hot razor blades. Ouch!

Plus, this whole adventure is giving me an excuse or two to embrace my inner hermit and indulg in the fact that I will be pretty immobile for the next week or so. My big plans for while I am off are to continue my quest to learn origami. I'm pretty sure I've got the butterfly down by my cranes, dragons and flowers are quite dreadful. My fantastic friend Jen let me borrow her dvds of Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part 1 as well as the Lord of the Rings trilogy to watch while hanging at my parents house. I am looking forward to watching both of them on the big screen tv with surround sound. Plus, the Kindle is loaded with books to read, I have my art journal to work on, my camera has been a bit neglected as of late, if its nice there are trips to be made to he lake and I have episodes of Ghost Adventures to watch!

18 June 2011

Express Yourself

I think we all know how much I like projects or at least like to have something create to work on. It's just that I get bored really easily and need something to occupy my time. What is that quote: Idle hands are the devils tools.

The other day, a fellow blogger whom (or is it who--I can never remember the rule) I follow posted about embracing her inner scrapbooker using a Smash Book. The idea sounded interesting and after watching the quick video about using a the Smash Book, I realized this was something totally up my ally.

Because I am completely impatient and would rather not have to wait for them to come back in stock in the online store--I have decided to make my own. I picked up an artist book today on my way home for a wedding that I shot and raided my moms scrapbooking supplies for a cover. It's not as fancy as the Smash Book, but for me, it's perfect and I can't wait to start filling the pages!

06 June 2011

02 June 2011

What was I thinking?!

Today, June 1 was supposed to be the start of a new project. I had fabulous ideas of what I wanted to do and what I wanted to accomplish when it was done. It was going to be grand. It was going to be fun. It was going to be me.

But now that the day is here and is nearly over, I'm wavering. Sure, I have terrible commitment issues and would rather not do something that start something only to quick halfway through (been there, done that--not terrible thrilled at the thought of doing it again) but that still shouldn't stop me from trying, right?! Right??


I just worry that I am setting myself up for total failure. Like I'm going to talk the big talk but will fall short and there will be a whole string of "I told you so's" spewing forth from people around me. And they may not say it, but I'm pretty confident they'll be thinking that and I just don't want to deal with it. I know it shouldn't matter and that the original idea was to do this for me but just once I'd like to feel like people really had my back on something. Like they really supported me the way they say they support me. And I'm if I'm truly going to do this project like I want to and really explore parts of myself (not in a touchy feely sort of way) I'm going to need that back-up. I'm going to need people to say "Wow....that's incredible that you were able to do a photograph like that!" and not "Wow......I can't believe you would take a photograph like that."

Again, I know it shouldn't matter and I shouldn't care but I do and that is part of who I am. That is part of what makes me--me. For better or worse. And admitting that I need that sort of approval isn't something like to admit. At all.

So, I don't know what I'm going to do. Day 1 is done but I have a feeling I'll ask myself the same questions I asked myself today on Day 2 and Day 3 and Day 4......what is the real reason I am doing this project. Who am I really doing it for.

Thanks for reading!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...