31 July 2011

Summer Sounds

This summer has kind of been a bust in terms concerts. Because of work schedules, my crazy surgery and recovery time, as well as some things that shall not be mentioned, I haven't been able to attend as many shows as I would have like. *sigh* Sometimes being a responsible adult really is quite annoying.


Tonight is my last concert of the summer and I am super excited about the bands my friend Jen and I will be seeing! Gavin DeGraw. Train. Maroon 5. Good times to come I am sure!

25 July 2011

Pumped Up Kicks

Have ya'll ever heard a song that you can't figure out why you like it so much?

Welcome to my current musical dilemma.

23 July 2011

Word from the Wise

I've had this song stuck in my head for the last few days.

Just thinking....

Most people think of unconditional love to mean “I couldn’t love you any less, no matter what.” But what I think unconditional love means is “I couldn’t love you any more, no matter what.” Either way, it sounds neat. --jhnmyr

22 July 2011

Heading into the home stretch....

Today was my almost four week check-up with my doctor.

The best part of the visit was that my remaining stitches came out of my foot. Woohoo! Those buggers were getting to be quite annoying so I was happy to see them go.

I'm happy to say my doctor says things are looking good and I have some "pretty good movement" in my ankle. The next step in the process is to ween myself out of my boot which is fantastic. He said it's going to hurt but I'm looking forward to being in a normal pair of shoes by the time I see him for a follow-up in two weeks.

20 July 2011

Digital Analogue

Because I love all things photography related, I had to post this video.


Digital Analogue from ftjelly on Vimeo.

18 July 2011

Ah...to fall in love.

'Tis a great feeling.

And that is exactly what happened last night. For months I have had a story line kicking around in my head. It's a pretty cliche love story, but that's o.k. Most that are in print are a wee bit cliche, but I like to say it is to give all of us hopeless romantics out there a fighting chance.

But anyway. Last night, when I couldn't sleep thanks to the ridiculous heat, I decided to take advantage of my insomnia and get a little writing done. Most of what I did was just lay the foundation for the two main characters, but it is one of my favorite things to do. I love getting to know the characters and figuring out their likes, dislikes, lives, pasts, futures, etc. It's not a big start, but it's a start and I'm looking forward to seeing where this takes me.

17 July 2011

Write On

A couple of weeks ago, my mom ran into my high school English teacher and apparently their conversation turned to "why hasn't Meg written her novel yet?"

Nice to know I have been pigeon holed right from the beginning.

I mean, o.k. I get it. Writing has always been my thing, but it's not something I really identify myself with anymore. And yes....I'm exceptionally cranky because of my blooming frustration with my anti-recovery from my surgery.

There are still days when I feel like I have so much to say, I can’t get it out of myself fast enough. It’s this burning need to express things, to be creative, to be myself. The problem though is that I get so wrapped up in what people are going to say about it (me) or think about it (me) that I stop myself. I hold back. I keep a huge part of myself hidden, protected from whatever it is that is out there and that I’m not quite ready to face.

For awhile, I had been able to use my photography as a way to break out of my old habits of keeping it all locked away. I was able to use my camera as a chisel to slowly break through the wall around my comfort zone. But photographs can only do so much.

It was the words that I missed. The way phrases are woven together into sometimes but not always neat bundles of expression. I missed spending hours upon hours putting the jumbled up mess in my head down on paper. Last fall I met someone (who was a writer himself) and he reminded why it was I wrote to begin with. He reminded me that (and this is such a cliche) if you write something for yourself, truly for yourself, everything else doesn’t matter. And as hard as that can be sometimes, it has to be done.

For a good three or four months after that conversation, I wrote furiously in my journals and notebooks. I wrote poems and soliloquies, short stories and a great series of monologues from potential characters. I participated in NaNoWriMo and loved all 12,300 words of it (even if I fell way short of my 50,000 word goal), including my main characters--LOVE them. Sadly, for reasons I still don't quite understand, I stopped. I stopped writing. I stopped thinking about writing. I abandoned my characters. My journals collected dust on my shelves and my notebooks became half filled paperweights.

Thankfully that drive, the need to write has sprung up again and so I’m going to go with it….I'm going to drag the notebooks from the shelves and fill them with words and phrases and stories that are swimming around my head. Those pages will be a sort of dumping ground for all the stuff that stuck in my head and if I am lucky, it will make sense when it is out.

16 July 2011


I've been bouncing around the idea of making some sort of short film but as of yet have come up with a concept. Someday it'll happen, but until then I've been watching short films by some really creative people. This is one that I instantly fell in love with by Alex Bohs.

Half from Alex Bohs on Vimeo.

10 Reason to Date a Photographer

1) They work well in the dark 
2) They look at things in different angles
3) They make things develop 
4) They work well on many settings 
5) They know how to focus 
6) They can make big things look small and small things look big
7 ) They zoom in and out. And in and out and in and out and in and out… 
8) They shoot in many different locations 
9) They can find the beauty in anything 
10) They will always make you smile

14 July 2011

Concert High

Last night was a great night of live music.

My parents and I headed to Interlochen to see Amos Lee and Lucinda Williams. I'm not going to lie. The main reason I wanted to go was to see Amos Lee. I've been a fan of his for a long time, but for whatever reason have never seen him perform live. It was well worth the wait.

Amos has an incredible voice and lyrically, makes me weak in the knees. His setlist consisted of songs mainly from his new album Mission Bell, but the highlight of the set for me were two songs not found on that album: Truth and Arms of a Woman. Such good stuff.

Lucinda Williams set was good as well. It was a good combination of old and new songs. Musically she sounded just like she does on her albums, just a little more rough--but in a good way. I'm not sure I would want to see her again, but I'm glad I'm able to say that I have.

13 July 2011

Workin' for a livin'

Today is going to be a good day.


Because I am headed back to work!

Woot! Woot!

True, it's only for a half day but I am so ready to get out of the house and (no offense) see some folks who are not family. I miss my friends who I am accustom to seeing almost every day. I miss the ridiculous email convos with Jen. I miss the random movie quotes from Jenny. I miss the inside jokes with the club that has no name. I just plain miss being out of the house.

So yes. I am indeed excited to be going back to work this afternoon and keeping my fingers crossed everything goes well.

And on the plus side, I have 5th row tickets to see Amos Lee (swoon) and Lucinda Williams tonight. Double Woot! Woot!

11 July 2011

Sun Savy

Sun Savy

Thanks to Micah for posting this on her blog!  For more information check out the links below.

Sun Savy
David Cornfield Memorial Fund

08 July 2011

Dream Guy

Good grief.

I get it. I've had loads of free time on my hands which means my imagination and subconscious has been having a field day.

I have now had nearly the same dream about the same guy three times in four days. That's weird, right?!

With the exception of a recurring nightmare (having the same dream now that I had when I was a wee little kid is far less than fun) I rarely have the same dream twice and I never have the same dream about the same person. Ever.

Until now.

And I have to say, it's annoying. It would be one thing if the dreams were the kinds of dreams I normally have. The types of dreams where I wake up, shaking my head and laughing at how bizarre they were. But no. These are dreams that serve as a reminder that a) I'm being ridiculous and b) I've done it again (falling for the wrong guy).

07 July 2011

How to be Alone

How to be Alone by Tanya Davis

I've posted this before, but I'm posting it again.

This week has been exceptionally frustrating. I'm sick of being stuck in the house. I'm sick of having to block off 90 minutes just to shower and get ready of the day. I'm sick of being exhausted. I'm sick of constantly having to rely on my parents for EVERYTHING. This week has reminded me how frustrating it is to be alone. Single. Flying solo. Embracing my independence. I'm reminded how much I really DO wish I was in a relationship. How I wish that I had someone to love and to love me back. I wish I had someone to give me a hug just because and without having to ask for it.

And then I fall back to this video (my awesome friend Vickie originally posted it on her blog).

This video reminds me that I'm o.k. It makes me feel better. It helps to remind me that really I'm not as alone as I feel.

I want to be THAT girl.

I don't know why all of a sudden this is such a huge issue for me. Normally, I'm not really all that concerned with what people think of me. I've never been the "pretty one" (that was confirm by my grandmother over dinner one night". I've never been the "thin one" (I'd give anything to have a bout of anorexia for a month or two). I think I've held the title of the "funny one" once (it seems very few people get my jokes, most of the time people look at me as if I've just started speaking in tongues). There are a number of times though that I've been told I'm a bit odd (it usually comes out as "you are so weird!"), but for the most part I'm pretty forgettable.

I don't even have enough fingers or two to keep track of how many times I have been reintroduced to people because they didn't remember me from previous introductions. I can't even begin to keep track of how many times I've been called because I have a "really great friend" that Captain Random wants to take out for dinner.

I just can't help but wonder what it would be like to be that girl someone is calling their friend about (ok--I'll admit that it did happen ONCE, but when he failed to follow through with the divorce proceedings it all kind of fizzled). I can't help but wonder what it would be like to leaving a LASTING first impression on someone. I'd love to know what it feels like to leave people thinking "Dang, I'd like to get to know her some more" or "She is someone I'd like to spend time with".

Trying to explain this to anyone is near impossible, simply because I know it doesnt make a lot of sense. How do you explain to someone that you don't want to change who you are as a person.....you just want to change who you are in the eyes of other people.

02 July 2011

6 a.m.

This has now become the worst part of my day.

The dreaded 6a.m.

I've been up everyday this week at almost the same time, without fail and without an alarm clock. My internal alarm clock a.k.a. pain sensors all over my freaking body have decided that this is the time that I should wake up and deal with them. It is the time of the day when I am typically alone, am reminded how frustrating this whole thing really has been and have a good cry while the rest of the house is in bed sleeping.

One can only wear a smile for so long before the facade starts to wear off.

My smile started to wear off yesterday.

I am exhausted. Sleep has been quite elusive and I've been surviving on catnaps. I seriously don't know how my friend and new mom Kara or any of my friends who are moms are there do it. I need more than 6 hours of consecutive sleep to survive not fitful naps of 3 if I'm lucky.

Part of why I can't sleep is because there is no comfortable position to lay in. Dr. K picked a prime piece of real estate near the inside of my calf to make one of the incisions which is also where 2 of my 6 stitches reside. This also means that every time I try to find a comfortable position to put my leg, the myriad of pillows and sometimes an ice pack is resting on that area. No bueno.

I keep joking that I am going to have gained some amazing upper body strength at the end of this. Whipping around on crutches was easy on day 1. Day 2 wasn't too bad but now that we are on day 6 my arms are killing me. They hurt. They ache. I have no strength left. I have bruises on my hands and my ribs are a little tender from the tops of the crutches jabbing into them as I try to regain my balance after nearly falling for the hundredth time.

I hate that I can't shower when I want to. Last nights adventure took over an hour which included way more help from my mom than should have been necessary, nearly killing myself trying to get out of the shower to only then almost sliding off the toilet seat (yes, it was down) while trying to dry off.

I know that dwelling on everything that is wrong isn't the best way to deal with all of this and it is quite counter productive. But it's hard to see the bright side of things when you are halfway to the bathroom, wondering if you are going to make it in time because the thought of having to hop another 15 feet makes you want to puke out of total exhaustion.

Thanks for reading!

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