Sunday Confessions

Simplify: I'm not sure one could really tell based on the current state of disarray of my house, but I'm in the process of a major simplification. Getting rid of EVERYTHING I don't need, use and/or want has been a big undertaking but has left me feeling pretty darn good.

Book Fetish: I finally, FINALLY found a book that has grabbed my attention. So much so I couldn't WAIT to get up in the morning to start reading it. I'll have a full post on it on Tuesday, but until then, if you haven't ready, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of Gone Girl. Such a good read. And I'm am finding myself not feeling bad even in the slightest that I'm not a fan of he lead female character Amy, any version of her.

Starting Over: I've toyed with the idea lately of abandoning Miles from Ordinary for something else. Something new. It's felt a little stale. And staleness doesn't exactly breed creativity or inspiration of any kind.

Misunderstood: I've been reminded (again) many times over that there are things my friends will just not understand about me and I need to let that go. They were a giggling mess when I tried telling them about Glitter. There was a resounding "NO!" when Random's name came up in conversation. And the idea that I have to, for a lack of a better term, "dumb down my vocabulary" (their words not mine) because they don't understand what I am saying is beyond frustrating. And yes, bitching about "personal things" that "people in my real like might read about" is breaking blogging rule number 18693 but this isn't anything they don't know.

Waxing Poetic

Inspiration has been pretty hard to come by these days.

It seems like I get up, I go to work, I come home, I go to bed.

Little has been able to hold my attention for more than a few moments. A movie, a drawing, a book. I feel like a bit of a hummingbird flitting from flower to flower, terrified that if I stay a moment too long something will go horribly wrong.

Some would blame this all on a change in the weather. Winter, yes WINTER seems to be knocking on the front door with a vengeance. Begging, no demanding to be let in despite the fact that it's a month early. Some would say it is this drastic change that has thrown me into a bit of a tailspin that I am powerless to stop.

They would be right, but not for the reason they think. Yes, technically it's the change in the weather. The change in season bringing along something new. Something that has my head swirling as I try to make sense of it all.

But it's not a thing or what and at the risk of completely outing myself it's a who. It's a reminder that things don't always go like we want them to go. That life doesn't always play fair. And that despite the overwhelming feeling that it's impossible, that it just isn't in the cards, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, just maybe the tiniest bit of hope lies in the belief that there are surprises around every corner and we just need to be open to accepting them. And then remembering not to fuck it up when it does happen.

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Honest to Blog is a series where I let my pen glide across the paper without letting my inner editor know what is going on. Some posts might be controversial. Some might be a bit boring and some might be downright ridiculous. But they will all be open, honest and 100% me.

On Baseball

This is more than a slight departure from what I normally write about, so hang with me.....

Baseball is a funny sport.

It's a game that can be decided on one swing, a misstep, a bobbled ball and yes, I'm going to go there, on an umps wandering strike zone.

Last night was Detroit's last game for the 2013 season. It's been shall we say, an odd season for the Tigers. Unlike other fans and sports writers (please note, I am NOT putting myself in the same category as a sports writer--I don't know enough stats or random information for that) I refuse to call it a disappointing season.

I've been a fan of the game for as long as I can remember. I know I've talked about it before, but I don't remember a time when I wasn't a Detroit Tigers fan. And any fan will tell you there are ups and downs with your favorite team, things to cheer about and things to groan about. But I'm one of those who goes for the cheers, no matter how dismal things may be.

On paper, this morning the Tigers should be preparing for the 2013 World Series against St. Louis. On paper Justin Verlander should have had another lights out season, with one of the highest win to loss ratios, highest numbers of strikeouts and lowest ERA's. On paper, Miggy should have won the Triple Crown again, Prince (along a few of the other guys) should have had a +.300 avg season been one of the leading RBI's guys in the majors and Peralta's post-drug suspension performance in the post-season should be guaranteeing him another year with the Tigers.

Instead, Verlander had an o.k. season by his standards, Miggy was more of a liability because of his injuries/lack of speed than he was helpful down the stretch. Prince, well, I think we all know how hard it can be with personal matters even if there is a job to be done. Peralta’s future with the organization is up in the air. And instead of getting ready for the seven game set with St. Louis they are packing their bags and heading home for the winter.

But that lack of success isn't the whole picture.

Expectations are hard. Anything short of a World Series win for this team would be a disappointment. They were SUPPOSED to win it all this year. Who cares that there are 20 teams that didn't make it to the post season. Or that they won the AL Central Division for the 3rd year in a row. Or that Scherzer will likely win the CY Young this year (side note: if he doesn't win, I will lose what little faith I have left in the Universe). Sanchez led in the AL with lowest ERA and Miggy had the highest batting average, on-base plus slugging percentage, on-base percentage and slugging percentage.

It would be ridiculous to say that I don’t have an “off-season wishlist” for changes I’d like to see made for this team. They need a closer. I appreciate Benoit’s attempt at filling this role (how the front office thought they could get away with NOT signing someone in the off-season last year is beyond me), but it just didn’t quite work out in the end. A left with a good, consistent bat would be great. And a new lead-off man. Jackson hitting lower in the line-up the last few games was one of the best moves Leyland could have done and it showed in Jacksons patience at the plate. I’m not sure putting him back to lead off would be a great move. There will be many who feel I have left off “a new manager” from my list but on this area I’m torn. I like Leyland. His players like/respect him. I like some of his moves. I like that he is willing to change things up (i.e. the line-up shuffle) and I like that he takes responsibility when things don’t go as planned. I’d be o.k. with him back for 2014 and yes, I am likely the only one.

Last night Justin Verlander posted the following tweet:

I want to thank all of Detroit and tigers fans for the support this year. You all are the best fans in the world! #detroitproud
— Justin Verlander (@JustinVerlander) October 20, 2013

All I can say is “Thank you” back. It’s not the season we wanted, but it was still a good one and I am counting down the days until the 2014 season begins.

Music Monday: Sailboat

Oh sweet mother of pearl this song had me in tears this week.

Sunday Confessions: I'm All Over the Place

It has been a gloriously relaxing few days. I had taken most of this past week off of work for what was originally a legitimate reason but ended up turning into a bit of a staycation. I've spent most of my time has been spent doing homework and watching baseball and The Walking Dead. Totally my version of "perfect downtime".

Running: I haven't been out for a run in MONTHS. In fact I don't even remember the last time I went for a run. But I miss it. Boy oh boy do I miss it. My hip has been fantastic that last two months (no pain!! whoop! whoop!) so we're going to give the Couch to 5k Program another try. Hopefully the stretches my physical therapist gave me will help, but I'm still terrified the pain is going to come back. So there is that.

NaNoWriMo: This is happening in 18 days. EIGHTEEN DAYS. Each year I say I'm going to do it and each year I fall well short of my goal. But, I'm a glutton for punishment and I'm going to try to do it all again his year. 30 days. 50,000 words. Conquer it I shall.

Birthday: Not that I'm ever really excited about it, but this year feels weird. It's not a "monumental" birthday but it's a number I don't really want to admit to. But on the flip side of that, I did have a security person tell me that I "really, really don't look as old as my actual age" so that is all kinds of awesome.

Babies: I spent much of this weekend with friends and their kids. I've written about it before, but each year that passes, I feel like I'm losing a bit of my hope that someday I'll be a mom. I know that should that time every really come it would be an extremely difficult road, but I'd really rather have to deal with it than not getting the chance to deal with it at all.