Weekly Reads

Oh hey.....look! I read a book.

O.k. so they were more in the novella category but if I paid for them, I'm counting them. And sadly, I'm not entirely sure why I bought one of them to begin with. It was awful, but I'll get to that in a moment.

Hook's Pan by Marie Hall
Trishelle Page has known pain in her life, but instead of it making her weak, she's stronger. Confident. That is until the day a fairy kidnaps her during her staring role in Peter Pan's play and tells her not only do fairy tales exist, but that she's the soulmate of the pirate they call Hook, making her question everything she ever thought she knew. 

Captain James Hook is a man at the end of his rope. He's not the villainous bastard tales have made him out to be. So when the curvaceous blonde drops, literally, at his feet he aims to prove it to her. If only to get her into his bed. 

What neither one knows is that fate and magic are conspiring and they can deny the attraction all they want but the end is already written, it's just a matter of getting there.

This was the fifth (and final) book in this series. I somehow missed book 4 but thankfully this isn't one of those series that you need to read them in order. Of the four in the series that I have read, this one was my favorite. Maybe because of my deep seeded love for pirates. Or maybe because the way Trishelle handled her emotions is pretty close to how I deal with mine (sarcasm all the way!) but I really loved this one.

Trishelle's character was pretty similar to the other to the other female characters in this series. Wounded by past loves. Thrown into a "fantasy world" and only three days to fall in love with their mate. There did seem to be some disconnect between Trisha's perception about her past behavior and relationships and how that part of her life was actually presented--they really didn't match, but that didn't diminish anything about the story--just seemed a little odd.

Hook on the other hand--this was a really interesting interpretation of the story of him and Peter Pan. I loved the way Hall breathed life into a character that for so long has played second fiddle to Peter Pan. Regardless of my love for  rascally pirates, by the end you were really rooting for him and his  own wounded heart.

Shattered (Dream Realms Trilogy: Book 1)
Sophia Sharpe
Laura Cubus was perfectly content with her life. A junior in high school, she felt perfectly normal. She had good friends, a great family, and did well in school. Nothing particularly exciting ever happened where she lived, and everything was stable. 

But that all drastically changes when a new student arrives at Laura's school. Wild rumors swirl about his past, and Laura becomes determined to find out the truth. As she gets to know the mysterious student, he shares with her an ancient secret... one that may yet put both of them in grave danger. 

And for the first time in her life, Laura is exposed to a completely unfamiliar world. She is swept away on an exhilarating journey that takes to a place where romance and great destiny may yet await... and where supernatural powers run rampant.

Right after I bought my Kindle, I went on this bizarre shopping spree of books and this title was apparently one of them. And to be honest, I don't quite know where to even start. I read it in one sitting and if you have fortunate pleasure (or unfortunate depending on how you look at it) of following me on Twitter, I did a little bit of a live-tweet while reading it.

To say it is a knock-off of Twilight would be diminishing the success of the Twilight series. I really don't like to make disparaging remarks about someone elses talent as a writer, but this was just plain awful. For it to be about a seventeen year old girl, it read like it was written from the perspective of how a seventeen year old girl thinks she should behave, talk, etc. And by the end of it, my finishing the book was really just a test to see if it would get any worse--which it did. 

Sunday Confessions

One Fifty Plus: Sooo......remember a couple weeks ago I posted that there were things I wanted to talk/write about but kept wimping out on? And then last week I wrote about compartmentalizing things (a.k.a. real life) in multiple blogs? Well--I did just that. It's still a work in progress but it's happening. I created One Fifty Plus (I hate the name and will likely change it but until I find a name that I love I'm going with it) last week. Health and wellness are two very important things to me and it can be really frustrating when seeking out blogs, articles, etc. that don't focus on the "try this new exercise to lose five pounds fast!" Whatever happened to just wanting to physically feel good, at any size? So, that's what I'm hoping to achieve with it. One might call it an experiment but I'd like it to be more than than. AND if anyone has anything they'd like to contribute I'd love that, too!! We shall see how it goes I suppose. 

Random: I had multiple dreams about Captain Random over the last month. And they all include the two of us having the same conversation---"Our time has come and gone. It's time to let go". *sigh* But sometimes letting go is hard to do, no matter how long it's been. So it's a little sad but it has to happen. Let's hope I keep that same resolve the next time we meet, which is unavoidable.

Dancing: I leave you with this on a fine Sunday morning. I love to shake it but am terrible at it. But like Mike says in Dazed and Confused when asked what he wants to do with his life "I wanna dance!".

Source: Eat Sleep Draw

Arbitrary Numbers

While putting together this post, another blogger post a link to the following article via Twitter: A 157lb Dissection. It's similar but from a different perspective and definitely well worth the read.

On any given day, any of the following numbers could be used to describe me:
 
They will tell you my age, measurements, for how many years I have been on some kind of a diet, my height (in centimeters), weight and dress/pants size.

But what those numbers won't and can't do is tell you I am: smart, funny, sarcastic, intelligent, caring, thoughtful, shy, independent, loyal, cool, sensual, introspective, moody, carefree, sexy, hard working and artistic (I certainly could have come up with more adjectives to describe myself but I didn't want to over do it).

Despite all of that, we are judged on that set of numbers every day. And for some, at times including myself, our self worth is based on those numbers as well.

I've spent a lot of time hating those numbers. But even more time being ashamed of them. Judging myself when I'd see a number climb when I didn't want it too after failing miserably when trying to make it go down.

I cringe at how much time I have wasted because of those numbers. But because of that time, I  am (shockingly) in a place where I no longer let those numbers define who I am. To be honest, it doesn't really phase me anymore to say I wear between a 16 and 20 depending on the store (XL or XXL for those stores that don't use numbers) or that my weight is somewhere in the area of 230 but can't say for sure (the last time I stepped on a scale was 2 months ago at the doctors office). Not that anyone should really care, but my inseam is between a 30 and a 32, bra size is 42 and I supposed I'm about 5'8".

What does phase me though is the reactions from others when they hear (or read) those numbers. Because when they do and then hear me say "Not all that worried about any of those numbers" (ok.....that is a lie......I'd like to be taller, but I digress), their perception of what I am saying is that I've given up on my myself.

Rest assured the last thing I have done is give up on myself. My realization that I am more than "just a number" and that my happiness and comfort with who I am is far more important than what that list of numbers might say about me. It can't be be measured in the traditional sense.

Instead it's measured by knowing that when I look in the mirror I no longer hate what I see looking back at me. I no longer poke my belly wishing it was flatter or hating the way my hips curve out in that way. I no longer cry over the lumps and bumps I see or the stretch marks and scars I have that never seem to fade. I no longer dread having to pick something out to wear because an article of clothing might go against some arbitrary fashion rule that if you exceed a certain size you can't wear a certain style, print, etc. I am no longer obsessed with trying to hide my flaws or figure out how to draw attention away from them.

It is measured by my ability to let people in to see who I really am and not who they want or think I should be. It is measured by my knowing my depression, which has always been fuel by low self esteem and terrible body image issues is starting to ebb. It is measured by the fact that I smile more and that I laugh more. It is measured by how many mornings I wake up, happy to experience a new day.

Getting to a place where one truly loves who they are is not an easy path to take because it goes against almost everything we are taught by the media, society and sometimes even our friends and family. But I promise you, taking that leap of faith and deciding to that that path is 100% worth it.

One Item

The other day, John Mayer posted on this Tumblr blog, One Forty Plus about his "new favorite game"  Bout. I've yet to check it out but I think the "question" he posed was pretty fascinating:

Best item to bring with you into a dream (if you could)

I have to confess, I found the question to be absolutely fascinating and decided to play along.

Side note: Do any of you ever think to yourself "You know, if Celebrity X and I were friends, we'd have so much fun together!" No? Just me. Moving on.

If I could take one item into a dream it would be a pair of chopsticks.

I know. I know. Chopsticks? Hear me out!

• I could use them to eat at all the swanky restaurants I might visit in my dreams.
• I'd use them to knock out a killer beat while living life as a bad ass drummer.
• I may even connect them into one giant light saber while defeating Darth Vader.
• They'd become nun-chucks in an epic battle against ninja warriors hell bent on revenge.
• I'd paint beautiful dream scapes.
• Maybe build a house.
• And conduct a symphony orchestra.

What item would you take with you into a dream?

Goals! Goals! Goals!

I have always found that if I don't start a "goal" on a solid date, it's a disaster from the word go. And that "solid date" has to be the first of the month. Anyone else have that same problem?

Anywho.....

I've come to realize I am one of those people who need to exercise to stay sane. I'm less irritable. I sleep a whole lot better. And more importantly I feel more like myself (I have a whole post rolling around in my head about this that I'll be posting in the next day or two).

Over the last couple of weeks I have been easing my way back into a regular fitness routine. While my doctor has given me the o.k. to try easing back into running with the C25K program, I can't start it until I have two pain free weeks after exercise.

Thus far, being completely "pain free" has been an elusive goal, but it's getting closer. After each workout my hip hurts less and less so I know there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel.

Until the day though I can start running again, I've had to figure out a new plan which was low impact but still gave me the same kind of "high" I got from running.



I have never been a fan of lifting weights (in fact I actually hate it) but I also have really wimpy arms. And I know I'm going to need to mix things up a bit or else I'm going to get bored. I am going to try this "lifting plan" from Women's Health a try: 4 sets of 10 reps of each with a "challenging weight", aka my arms are going to feel like jell-o when I am done. Even thinking of doing it makes me want to quick before I even start but seeing as I can do it at home, I don't have much of an excuse not to.

As I've mentioned before, my job allows us free access to our on-sight fitness center which I have been visiting a couple times after work. My goal for July is to really get into a routine and complete 150 minutes of cardio each week whether it be on the treadmill, elliptical (my preferred machine at the gym) or the bike. I'd eventually like to add swimming to that list as well, but I need to buy a bathing suit suitable for such a task.


Do you have any goals for July?